How come nobody ever asks the bouncer at the club how his day was? Maybe he has an interesting story to tell! You don’t know! You’ll never know.
(dogs 670, 671)
All right, now that I’ve finally got you to myself for a second: how old is “too old” to train a Jedi, really?
You see a dog. I see the lead guitarist in a band called LUXURY WIZARDS, playing a gig tonight in a neon-lit room whose atmosphere is 92% fog-machine generated.
What, your best friend can’t have a best friend too? Friendship is recursive, people. Like the tower of turtles in that one story: it’s friends all the way down.
"Can’t talk. I am imagining a perfect emptiness, a void so complete it has never known even the concept of existence. No, wiseass, this is not a joke about the government. See, you made me lose my concentration. Gotta start over. Now be quiet this time."
Does it count as body policing if I suggest going a little easier on the eyeliner next time? Honest question.
Early reports that the next Harry Potter film franchise will primarily center around Mortimer, the “forgotten” Dumbledore brother, have been roundly discredited, although one close source claims the idea has not been ruled out entirely.
So you just read The Road and you’re having trouble believing there’s any kind of goodness at the core of human nature, I know, I get it, I do. I just asked if you wanted anything to snack on as long as I’m going in the store. How about some chips? Remember chips? Hello? Jesus, remind me to hide your library card for the next week or two.