And then there’s that certain breed of dog we know only as the Woe Sponge, so named for his ability to soak up not only the dolor of the world at large, but your own as well, removing it from your body after only a few seconds of gentle pats on the head. Remarkably, the Woe Sponge never needs to be wrung out, as he is self-renewing and eternal.
(dog 596)
Not all guard dogs have to be fierce; sometimes you want a dog who can send your foes slinking away just by giving them a quiet talking-to.
(dog 595)
Not pictured: the magical glowing portal to another dimension embedded in the wall that winked out of existence half a second before I took this shot.
(dog 594)
The President of Dogs wants your attention for just a second. It’s a vital matter of national security. Did you or did you not remember to get an extra rawhide bone, the kind the President likes, and if you did not, what are you still doing here.
(dog 593)
One thing I bet they don’t use as a rating at dog shows is “huggability,” which is a huge fucking mistake as far as I’m concerned.
(dog 592)
This is your question buddy. Every time you’re unsure about what you’re supposed to be doing, just turn and ask your question buddy, and you’re guaranteed to get a correct answer.
(dog 591)
When you think about it, dogs are essentially just cheerful wolves who we happened to make pals with a few thousand years ago.
(dog 590)
Every once in a while, try being the guy at the party who just helps everyone else out. Revive a flagging dance floor. Get your bro a drink so he doesn’t have to quit talking to someone interesting. Reassure someone she wore the right dress. Not everything has to be all about you.
(dog 589)
The Ambassador’s remarks are concluded for the evening. Please enjoy the reception in the courtyard. The palace guards will show you the way.
(dog 588)
What if we’ve been wrong this whole time? What if wizards don’t have amazing beards? What if their magic is concentrated in their sideburns instead? Was everything we were taught in school nothing but lies?
(dog 587)
