April 15, 2014   12 notes
"Just find out if we can add it all up to get 70% off or if there’s some other thing — what? What do you mean they don’t have anything in my size? Different stores have different sizing systems, everyone knows — what do you mean ‘my kind,’ buddy? Someone’s getting their shoes shat in tonight.”
(dog 687)

"Just find out if we can add it all up to get 70% off or if there’s some other thing — what? What do you mean they don’t have anything in my size? Different stores have different sizing systems, everyone knows — what do you mean ‘my kind,’ buddy? Someone’s getting their shoes shat in tonight.”

(dog 687)

April 9, 2014   36 notes
Knight-Commander Maximillian Reesbury Wooden-Jones Shacklington III, Defender of the Crown and Sixteenth Earl of Applemere-on-Wungcaster, demands that you stop at once to pay the cuddle toll. The cuddle toll is non-negotiable and must be paid in full. Fail in this and your life is forfeit; the rule of law is absolute in this land, the sword of justice swift and terrible.
(dog 686)

Knight-Commander Maximillian Reesbury Wooden-Jones Shacklington III, Defender of the Crown and Sixteenth Earl of Applemere-on-Wungcaster, demands that you stop at once to pay the cuddle toll. The cuddle toll is non-negotiable and must be paid in full. Fail in this and your life is forfeit; the rule of law is absolute in this land, the sword of justice swift and terrible.

(dog 686)

April 2, 2014   9 notes
Apparently I need to ask: someone went back and made sure seals and dogs can’t interbreed, right? Right? ‘Cause I definitely remember that being someone’s job. Maybe their only job. I’m just sayin’.
(dog 685)

Apparently I need to ask: someone went back and made sure seals and dogs can’t interbreed, right? Right? ‘Cause I definitely remember that being someone’s job. Maybe their only job. I’m just sayin’.

(dog 685)

March 25, 2014   8 notes
Discretion is the better part of valor, right?
(dog 684)

Discretion is the better part of valor, right?

(dog 684)

March 19, 2014   19 notes
Dog, (n). A mechanism for measuring the contours and capacity of the standard-issue human soul.
(dog 683)

Dog, (n). A mechanism for measuring the contours and capacity of the standard-issue human soul.

(dog 683)

March 5, 2014   17 notes
So you forgot your “FREE HUGS” sign at home, man — that’s not your fault! You are still worthy of love. Look, someone’s comin’ over to hug you right now. Told you so.
(dog 682)

So you forgot your “FREE HUGS” sign at home, man — that’s not your fault! You are still worthy of love. Look, someone’s comin’ over to hug you right now. Told you so.

(dog 682)

February 26, 2014   17 notes
Much respect, Your Wizardliness, but can you turn the intensity on the Dimensional Jump Gate down a notch or two? I would love to travel to the Sparkle Realm, but my eyes are having a — no? That’s … just how it is over there? All the time? Well, if I’d known, I’d’ve packed sunglasses, wouldn’t I? Sorry, sorry. My bad. Rookie mistake. Back in a sec. Thanks.
(dog 681)

Much respect, Your Wizardliness, but can you turn the intensity on the Dimensional Jump Gate down a notch or two? I would love to travel to the Sparkle Realm, but my eyes are having a — no? That’s … just how it is over there? All the time? Well, if I’d known, I’d’ve packed sunglasses, wouldn’t I? Sorry, sorry. My bad. Rookie mistake. Back in a sec. Thanks.

(dog 681)

February 19, 2014   43 notes
There are people who’ll tell you there’s just no place in this world for a gentle giant, but those people can go fuck themselves, because gentle giants can make their own damn place anywhere they please at all times. That’s what being a gentle giant is for.
(dog 680)

There are people who’ll tell you there’s just no place in this world for a gentle giant, but those people can go fuck themselves, because gentle giants can make their own damn place anywhere they please at all times. That’s what being a gentle giant is for.

(dog 680)

February 11, 2014   12 notes
"Next time we do this, you be the fort and I get to be the general, okay?"
"Sure, bro."
"I mean it! You say that every time."
"I said sure."
"I’m holding you to it, I swear."
"Bro, I got you. Next time you can be the fort!"
"All right, good."
"Hell yeah."
…
…
"This would be more fun if we had other dogs to play with, huh."
"Forts can’t talk, bro."
(dog 679)

"Next time we do this, you be the fort and I get to be the general, okay?"

"Sure, bro."

"I mean it! You say that every time."

"I said sure."

"I’m holding you to it, I swear."

"Bro, I got you. Next time you can be the fort!"

"All right, good."

"Hell yeah."

"This would be more fun if we had other dogs to play with, huh."

"Forts can’t talk, bro."

(dog 679)

February 4, 2014   6 notes
Now that the creepy Californian EverSummer seems to have come to an end and true winter is finally beginning to assert itself, you can get that heavy coat out of your closet and go look at all the cherry blossoms. There’s nothing like beating the crowd — not to mention Nature itself — by a whole couple of months.
(dog 678)

Now that the creepy Californian EverSummer seems to have come to an end and true winter is finally beginning to assert itself, you can get that heavy coat out of your closet and go look at all the cherry blossoms. There’s nothing like beating the crowd — not to mention Nature itself — by a whole couple of months.

(dog 678)